It starts with a K and ends with an S. Can you guess what it is?

Kegels.

Kisses too, but we’re talking about Kegels today. But yes, kiss the one you love. Kiss them every day, multiple times a day. ON THE LIPS. According to scientific research (read the article here)… kissing your partner regularly helps you bond, and strengthens your relationship. If you are in a relationship right now and your partner is close, after you read my article, go and kiss them. For fun! And also because you love them.

If you are single, remember this fact so you can use it for when you’re not single and in the meantime, kiss yourself. Kiss your arm, kiss your hand, or just give yourself a mental kiss. Why should we be ashamed of giving ourselves some love? Don’t be. It is totally normal.

Pelvic floor muscle exercises were first defined by an American gynecologist named Dr. Arnold H. Kegel. He “developed” these exercises (popularly known as “Kegels”) to help women experiencing urinary incontinence. What a legacy—every single time a person squeezes their pubococcygeus (PC) muscles, they will think of Kegel, a man who explored vaginas and got paid for it. For the men out there, quick question. When your girl squeezes her PC muscles during sex in hopes to make it feel better for you, she’s thinking of another man: Dr. Arnold H. Kegel. You mad?

“Pyu-bow-cox-see-gee-yus.” Pyu, as in “pew pew” when you shoot someone with a finger gun, evoking that Austin Powers energy.

What exactly do Kegels entail, you may be wondering? Honestly, if you are over 18 you likely have an idea. If so, let this be a reminder to do them more consistently.

Doing “Kegels” entails squeezing your PC muscles and holding it for 3-10 seconds and then resting for 5-10 seconds. Each hold and rest is considered a rep and 25 reps a day seems like a balanced amount of Kegels to do for the average person. How often or long you do this exercise is really up to you. The key is consistency. It really does make a difference even for people who don’t suffer from leaking urine. I would even go as far as to say that it helps increase energy and helps depression.

When you strengthen any muscle (including your brain), you also protect against “energy leakage” in your auric body. So, practicing Kegel exercises regularly will help strengthen, protect, and balance your lower chakras (root/Muladhara, sacral/Svadhishthana, and solar plexus/Manipura) thus ultimately helping to regulate the entire energetic system of the body.

5 minutes of conscious Kegels until you notice changes in your well-being suffices. Some people may require more than 5 minutes though, so adjust as you go along.

You shouldn’t force yourself to do these to the point of feeling pain–these exercises are otherwise unnatural anyway in the sense that the body doesn’t contract on its own in this way on a daily basis unless we consciously will ourselves to do it, sort of like smiling. According to Christiane Northrup M.D., author of “Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom”, Kegels are actually more effective when done gently and relaxed than with brute force. You’re not doing high-intensity interval training here…you’re giving your sacral and root chakras some intentional love. It should be beautiful and pleasurable, like gentle waves hitting the shores of your favorite beach as your toes and the soles of your feet flirt with the sands.

It’s truly beautiful and so powerful and in my opinion, incredibly healing.

To summarize, here is what you do:

Step 1: Sit, lay, or stand in a comfortable position. Take a few deep breaths and get settled. Relax for a few moments (take as much time as you need or can) and squeeze your PC muscles like you are holding your pee because there’s a long line at the bar and a very attractive person is behind or in front of you and you don’t want them to know you are about to piss your pants plus acting like an animal, squirming and hopping about, in such a public place is embarrassing. Trust me, I’ve done that. The key is to relax and make it “look” as natural as possible. You don’t want to strain. Just imagine someone really cute looking at you and for whatever reason you don’t want to piss yourself or appear like you are struggling so you act like you aren’t about to do just that.

Step 2: Hold that squeeze for 3 *Mississippi* seconds (for beginners) and try to (eventually) work up to 10 and beyond, if you’re feeling competitive. Remember to breathe intentionally during the squeeze. You will find yourself relaxing into the exercise once you do, and likely feeling pleasure from it too. Squeeze upwards and inwards and as you practice more and more, you will surely find what works for you.

Step 3: Rest for 5 seconds to however long feels right for you. Again, taking deep, delectable, gorgeous, and intentional breaths. This is your happy place. And if it isn’t yet, do what it takes to make it so. Whether that’s going back to focusing on your breath more or squeezing a little harder or more gently… it’s really your decision to make as everyone’s comfort level is different.

Step 4: Set a timer for at least 5 minutes (for beginners or those who are having trouble) and work your way up to however long feels good for you. If you prefer reps, you can do as much as you feel comfortable with, but try to do at least 25 reps during a session. Make it a sexual meditation if you want. Sexual meditations are a great way to ask our bodies what our desires and needs are and to gain insight on how and whether they are being met.

Step 5: This is optional. If you are up for it, repeat the steps above 3 times for a total of 3 “sets” on a daily basis, every other day or three times a week.

That’s it! One final thing though, the exercise I detailed here can also be substituted with “pulses.” For instance, instead of holding for 5-10 seconds, you can just do pulses for 5-10 seconds. Pulses, however, maybe a little bit more challenging but also a lot of fun.

If it is painful, I highly advice seeing a doctor. This exercise should be pleasurable albeit perhaps inciting some discomfort especially in the beginning—look for the “it hurts so good” sensation of being oddly satisfying.

Enjoy!

-Elle