When you’re someone who believes in love and its power, walking away can be extremely hard, even when the relationship is doing more harm than good. If “love” is supposed to be “unconditional”, and if you want to be someone who loves unconditionally, then you’re expected to give this person the benefit of the doubt, be supportive, and most importantly, be patient and understanding even when things seem unfair. But where is the line between being a good partner (and human) and being a pushover who keeps getting taken advantage of? I can’t seem to find a clear distinction. What I do know is that the line is real, it exists, and it does not make anyone who decides that they are not okay with it being crossed a bad person or a quitter, nor does it mean that they never loved or gave it their all. Moreover, it does not make them wrong.

Think about what “true love” means or looks like to you. Does it look and feel like rainbows and butterflies, unicorns and angels, fluffy clouds, and thousands of red roses? That’s probably the feeling that comes up when we think of true love, but reality begs to differ. I’m willing to bet those things are in fact included—true love makes us feel good, safe, secure, and yet excited at the same time—but just because those magical things are a part of it, does not mean that it’s always going to always be pretty or easy. I think true love can be ugly at first but if it’s “true” then the ugliness can be overcome, not from luck but from dedication and commitment to and for each other.

Two people can be such a damn good match that the negative dynamics between them are overcome not just by who they are as individuals but on top of that, through their natural attraction and genuine concern for the other.

Now obviously I don’t know everything and I have nothing to show for proof that I know what I’m talking about… but let’s just say I have a hunch (a really strong one). Love… “true” love… isn’t supposed to be nice and dandy all the time, perhaps it could be eventually, but it doesn’t have to start that way and never get uncomfortable at any point. It should never be violent, that I believe, but anger doesn’t have to never be present either. Wouldn’t you agree? But in saying that, the kicker becomes: When is too much anger, too many chances given, too many broken promises, too many unresolved conflicts? When is it time to throw in the towel?

Love is a drug. There is no better high than the one felt between a man and woman who are connected in a romantic way. There isn’t also anything more painful or troubling. I don’t have the answer, but maybe it’s a lot like solving anything—sometimes you just have to set it down, take a walk, travel somewhere new, put it away for a while and come back again later. Sometimes we never get back to it but sometimes we get a clear feeling that we should. At that point, it’s up to us if we do.